oh gosh i know i haven't blogged in a decade or two but here i am now. sitting here thinking and thinking about why the hell i feel this way im living a blessed life but this feeling wont go away.........im thinking it might be the fact that my bestfriend (well one of them) hates me and i think about him every sinlge fucking day just wishing i could see him but then again if he did come back he wouldnt want a thing to do with me i dont know where i went wrong.......i just wish he could see how much pain he puts me in. i will never forget him and im fearing hes on his way to erasing me :'( i understand i feel pitiful but its the truth i miss him soo much. i know i have a boyfriend and i love him but as long as i keep my bestfriend just a bestfriend and my boyfriend a boyfriend and everything that goes with bestfriend i feel like theres nothing wrong with having both of them. maybe the feeling is stress.......or even tiredness. except i dont know what id be tired of. these days i feel like the boyfriend is acting different and i cant help over thinking why it is it scares the living hell out of me. im sorry this post was less than joyful i just dont know how to make this horrible feeling disappear. i want it gone. forever.
It'll go away soon. I promise. I am sorry it has to be that way though. I never talk to you. but I hope to soon.
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